He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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