Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize