my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
soo... how was my night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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