its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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