The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sacagawea was the original milf.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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