no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
