did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
