If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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