she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
