is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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