MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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