I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
