cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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