At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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