She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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