He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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