Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
