I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
