He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
