i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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