i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
