erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
