I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
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