All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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