I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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