he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
