Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
