Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just gift wrapped bread.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
