my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
