Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
