can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
