oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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