I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
