I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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