i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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