There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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