Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
