he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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