that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
