This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
