I bet he comes in French.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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