Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize