if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
