Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
