Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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