Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
