You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
