I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
