using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
