I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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