clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize