dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
