you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
