Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
