Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
