She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
