so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
