I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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