I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she told me i tasted like america
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
