Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
