I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
