I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
