Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Randomize
