Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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