my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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