I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Text me some of your sweat
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
