Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
