hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There r osticjed everywhere
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
