I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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