I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drunk is not a location!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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