so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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