i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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