booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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