I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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