So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
