Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
