I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize