You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
