We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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