She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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