So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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