Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
